How many Chinese people does it take to install an oven?

No, the title is not a joke. As some of you know, when we first moved into the new house we had the equivalent of an easy bake oven (except I think it had 6 light bulbs instead of 1)(also, the ovens here are separate from the stove). It would only heat up to 350F and it took over an hour to get to that temp. So, we asked for a new oven that actually worked. After about a month of debate, the landlord finally purchased a new oven. And it worked wonderfully...for about 2 months. Then, all of the power in the house started to trip every time we went to use the oven. So, the oven dude shows up, tells us it is very dangerous and that we could get electrocuted! He will get us a new oven next Monday (this was Thursday). We told them that Monday was not acceptable, we wanted one on Friday. No can do, but after some discussion, it suddenly becomes possible. It will be here Friday by 5. At 5, we call the relocation rep to try and find out where the oven is. It is in Puxi (the other side of the river) and will be late because it is raining out and there is much traffic. Maybe one more hour. Finally at 8, two little men show up with a box. It is the new oven. They drag it inside, drag the old one outside, and get ready to install the new one. The first problem I identify is that the power cord plug is larger than the hole in the side of the cabinet to get to the outlet. I ask if they have a screwdriver to remove the power cord and then reinstall it after it is put through the wall. No chance. So, I get my own screwdriver, remove the cord and then re-wire it myself. Next, they try to put the oven into the hole. It fits, but only when I help them get the oven turned in the right direction and then guide it into the hole. Now I need to insert the plug into the outlet so that I can test to see if it works. Here is where the real problem occurs. The plug is too large for the outlet. It looks like it should fit, but it is just a little too large. Now I know that there was nothing wrong with the old oven except that they couldn't get the plug to fit in the outlet, so, being the brilliant people they are, they cut the plug off, installed a smaller one on the end of the cord and got it to fit into the outlet. Imagine taking the replacement plug you would use to replace a toaster plug and use it for an oven. I explain that there is just a little different power consumption and load on the wiring. After much discussion, they finally agree that the proper fix is to install an outlet the plug fits instead of making the plug fit the outlet. Here is the end result:So, the answer to the question is 7 (with some guidance from others): Relocation representative, management maintenance supervisor, oven store manager, two delivery men, landlord, and management electrician.

Other notes:

• The 3-legged dog that lived across the road from me in Jingang is no longer there. Either he got unlucky in crossing the road or the perfect 3-person family got hungry...
• Canteen life at work: is finding a worm in your green beans worth the extra protein? how about the bugs floating in your rice ball soup? a piece of metal in your pork? maybe you would like some chicken feet with the claws still attached?
• Weather report: if the sun is shining when you leave for work and you see old people walking around in galoshes and carrying umbrellas, it's going to rain.
• I think we have pushed Mr. Cheng (our driver) to new limits. I got in the car the other day and he held up what looked like a calculator. He tells me, "Wo (makes a typing gesture) Zhongguo, ta say "Good Morning!". I type Chinese, it says "Good Morning!" I am pretty sure we have pushed him to learning English. He tried to teach Natalie Chinese and gave up.
• If you have Chinese employees and you visit the United States, these are the gifts you bring back: GNC XXX Mass Builder (so you can gain weight), undergarments, shoes, shorts, Las Vegas t-shirts, San Francisco t-shirts, and candy bars.

Until next time...